It’s our second day in Tioman. It’s around 2 am now and it’s quiet. Except for A’s sleep sounds I can hear nothing else but the air conditioning and the beat of my own heart as I type this on the blackberry. A quarter of a big bottle of Gordon’s and a beer at the Island Bar just now have put me in a somber and reflective mood. The pace at which time crawls on this island has been good for me. Regardless of the fact that I actually got bored just now, running out of things to do.
But a couple of hours, give or take, at the bar, listening to a good podcast by KEXP had enlivened the evening. So now I wait for sleep and the 10 am ferry out of this truly beautiful Island.
We were wading in the ocean barely 8 hours ago. In A’s arms floating with my eyes on the blue sky and the setting sun. We found a nice spot just 10 minutes away from our room. I remember being uncomfortably aware of our displays of affection in the water, intimacy that could have been mistaken for brazenness or straying from accepted conventions. But the uneasiness was shortlived as we waded out of the water, my arms around her shoulders and my heart absolutely in her grasp.
At the bar just now, I was looking at S’s photos and got reminded of her and I was painfully aware of her absence. When I was sitting on the balcony just in front of our room overlooking the dark sea with stars in the sky I could’ve sworn I saw her approaching up the steps, all giggly and and pink and so full of trust and love. Sure, we could’ve brought her along but I wouldn’t have had the same kind of careless private fun as I am having right now. A seems relaxed and talkative too, due to our acceptance of the fact that a 3-year-old would detract us from a totally stress-free, cathartic 3 days and 2 nights away from city traffic, noise, and every other distraction of modern urban life.
We have bonded over these days and nights. One of the most important moments of my life occured when she told me that I ‘hold the fort’ in our family life. A great compliment from an amazing soulmate who has endured hell and high water for a sad schmuck like me.