Surat Terbuka Buat Penghulu Koloni Biawak (kerana yang lain berjaya bersembunyi)

Well, to the local Works Department actually. We’ve been hosts to a colony of biawaks, maybe 10-15 of them, turning our bedroom ceiling into their clawy, scratchy lovenest. We’d be lying-in on lazy weekend mornings and they’d crawl around, clawing on the wooden ceiling making strange sounds with their tails and A would scream in her groggy morning voice “Woi!”.

I’d be quiet because I’m more mesra alam and I think it’s kinda hot but don’t tell her that.

So A called the fire station a few weeks ago. This abang bomba came in one of them red bomba vans, took off his boots, put on A’s pink vassini-mydin sandals, climbed onto the ceiling and caught one of them pesky biawaks. He then proceeded to put the poor creature into a sack my mom gave him. The he went back to the station. Leaving his boots. And the biawak in the guni. And wearing A’s pink vassini-mydin sandals. That didn’t work really well did it?

So in her latest battle plan in this anti-biawak crusade, she wrote a letter to the Public Works Department (included below). So people with similar biawak-related matters will have a template. Let’s just hope they don’t steal your sandals too.

Surat Biawak



A dimunitive but significant section of the Malaysian Blogosphere bemoans the departure of starfish who has left for greener pastures.




Filed under anecdotal

18 responses to “Surat Terbuka Buat Penghulu Koloni Biawak (kerana yang lain berjaya bersembunyi)

  1. Can we like keep them like pets or sumthin’? There’re like iguanas, aren’t they?? ;P

  2. acai, big ass, mean monitor-lizards man. I’ll stick to cats, thanks.

  3. A

    unless they live in a nest at the end of the yard I’m okay with it…these beasts live in the ceiling and when they have a par-tay I’m most afraid the whole ceiling will collapse from their weight and frantic shuffling…..

    worst-case scenario: we’re asleep and they run around in the ceiling and then bam! the ceiling gives and they all fall on us…how’s that for a freaky and tragic outcome…

    no way those biawaks going to end up falling on me or anyone of sirreee….animal control is the only way to go bruther!

  4. heartbeat, kalau slow loris memang aku bagi kat hang dua tiga ekoq.

    A, agreed. As long as I’m not the one going in there to give ’em a slap or two it’s hurrah for animal control. I’m gonna miss ’em tho.

  5. Thee Dr.

    Looks like you have a new, Star Wars-esque mode of travel.

  6. A

    babe, them pink sandals…are flip-flops….kind of disturbing to imagine the tough abang bomba wearing my sandals…seriously??!!!!

  7. atie

    hmm..memang makan bewok.. 🙂

  8. i might be a bit superstitious here, but if this the kind of biawak that our indian friends enjoy as one of their curry dishes, then this is a serious problem.

    it is widely said that biawak pembawa sial. my suggestion is u should get rid of them ASAP. but once caught, do not resort to kill them biawaks…

  9. Thee Dr.

    The fireman was wearing yer pink flip flops…?..ew…talk about ‘I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry’….I think that fireman may just have been a guy on the outside, if you know what I’m saying….

  10. atie, hehe memang makan bewok

    Lucius, I’ve heard the same thing too. Didn’t think it wise to tell the missus though cause she’ll get all paranoid. Well the secret’s out anyway when she reads this but we’re doing something to address the problem. Regarding killing them biawaks: I heard the PWD’s method is using poison which they’ll place on the ceiling and they’ll come again to collect the jenazahs later. Wish there was a more humane way of doing it but I guess there is none.

    Dr, if that was a snide homophobic remark, penglipurlara down at ricecooker’s message board would be very proud. Hehe. He’s got something up his crevice or what?

  11. errr… biawak ataih siling?
    ni la pertama kali aku dengar.
    congrats izzat!

  12. A

    Doc, picture this, macho guy strutting down the ladder with black socks and my pink flip-flops….forgets his black boots and came back for ’em 2 days later…so I got my flip-flops back 2 days later….

    sabor ajer la…

  13. biawak is soo eyeww.

  14. Thee Dr.

    Wow…he must have reeeeeaaaallly liked those flip-flops-I still don’t get why he wore them in the first place…Penglipurlara…hehe… I think he’s really Tona in disguise.

  15. Wow. A whole colony of biawak. I wonder what do they eat, considering they’re living dekat the ceiling.

  16. Ib, biawak kacik takleh duduk diam plak tu. ceh

    A, have you seen me naked in them flipflops? Would you like too? Maybe I’ll put on the black socks too.

    rhona, eyeww giler doh

    Doc, Tona is waaaay more punk than the little maggot’s sorry ass.

    Fiza, they’d climb down la. And tapau stuffed crabs or lamb nasi ayams. Then climb up again and scare the shit out of me when I come out of the shower and see one of them just out the window.

  17. letak sulfur atau kabaid( i dont know how to spell this, but my dad uses sulfer aka kabaid( kelantanese call sulfur kabaid) untuk peram pisang dan buah exotic yang lain, i think lizards,snakes or other kinds of reptiles dont like kabaid much..try it..

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