A is getting a new Blackberry as a belated birthday gift from her Abang. She hasn’t even gotten her hands on the damn thing yet but there’s been gloating and smugness: I have a new toy and you didn’t buy it for me.
I can use it to text, with amazing speed, an ad guru’s lookalike of a colleague to update each other on scrabble scores. Or receive naughty messages from naughty Datuk bosses.
Or I can take cleavage pictures, and caption them invitingly to post on my FB profile or my blog. I’ve deleted the FB account but I can set-up another, sexually-ambiguous one. With my new Blackberry.
Or maybe hit my husband’s head and leave keypad imprints – all 374 of them – on his lying bastard of a face. All achievable with my new Blackberry.
That vibrates and is just about the right size.